playing discgolf with your wife and walking the line..

[Banjar]

Hello DGR,

I thought it would be practical to have a collective thread for us discgolfers to share experiences with trying to get our better half to play or enjoy playing. I know we have a handful of dedicated women discgolfers on the forum, and please join in, but I will write this as a 'me and my wife' piece because I assume the majority of people here are males.

I'm 36 and started playing a few years ago - I was completely hooked. My wife started last year (after very gentle, but persistent encouragement from me) and she is now finally getting to the point where she enjoys it because she has gotten somewhat consistent. She does not enjoy the idea of doing field practice though, and she does not take instructions from me very well at all (I usually don't say anything at this point), and overall we have different ambitions. This is fine, and we enjoy our casual beer rounds together. I secretly hope for her to get the discgolf bug and get ambitious about it though, but I know well enough to bite my tongue and let her interest develop naturally. There are other female players here who practice harder, and naturally, they are slowly getting better than her. She finds that discouraging and I am afraid she will loose her interest all together soon.

But I also feel like I am not getting my full money's worth of discgolf. I can practice in the field for hours without getting bored the slightest, our causal rounds are good, but once we are done, I want to hit the field or play another round.. I want to play tournaments (usually requiring getting up at 7am on saturday mornings, not her cup of tea) and spend a lot more time playing than she does. So my question is how have other people in my situation handled it?

Please share your experiences.

[Frank Delicious]

I play tourneys without the wife usually. Sometimes she'll come out for the second round of the day and follow along which usually gets her itching to play a round or gets her interested in playing a tourney because she'll see friends and have a good time just hanging out at the course.

[what'shisname]

I leave mine at home with the kids.

Really though, she doesn't have any desire to go out and play disc golf and she knows I love it and is happy for me to get my time in playing when I can. The kids are a bit young (4 and 2) to really get into and stay interested for a full round but they love coming out to the field with me to huck some plastic around. The youngest is a natural and seems to really love it.

[Beable]

But I also feel like I am not getting my full money's worth of discgolf. I can practice in the field for hours without getting bored the slightest, our causal rounds are good, but once we are done, I want to hit the field or play another round.. I want to play tournaments (usually requiring getting up at 7am on saturday mornings, not her cup of tea) and spend a lot more time playing than she does. So my question is how have other people in my situation handled it?

Please share your experiences.

I don't understand your question. If you want to go play and your wife doesn't...then take care of whatever your responsibilities are at home, and then go without her. Why does it matter whether she wants to play tournament golf, if you want to?

[Leopard]

my wife doesn't give a damn about frisbees or disc golf and i wouldn't have it any other way

i briefly tried to guide an ex into playing, but what's the point? you spend so much time on disc golf, if she wanted to try it out and get interested, she would. i've never understood why people NEED their woman to play disc golf too. imo, playing disc golf is just about the most unattractive thing a woman could get into.

[JHern]

I have it pretty damn good! I had only been playing for less than a year when I took my then-fiancee out for a round. It was a very casual affair, she could only throw 40' and we took our time getting through the course. We really enjoy each other's company, and both love being outside. The course and park were pleasant, and we both enjoyed meeting other disc golfers. She had never been involved in this kind of athletic activity before, only running sports. We started from scratch. I started to go to the field and practice, and got her out there practicing as soon as I was able to figure things out. She has developed a good throw, and a great putting style, and really enjoys playing. I knew she was hooked when I went out-of-town, and while I was gone, she had played solo rounds and even joined in for doubles at a local course. This was great, because then I knew that I was not her main connection to disc golf, and that she liked it for what it is, in and of itself. After a while she was suggesting that we play safari object golf in various parks that had no courses. By now she has done a lot of big things, become a PDGA member, played a lot of tournaments, run disc golf events for women, coordinated events for 2011 Pro Worlds (co-TD mixed doubles, organized opening ceremonies,...), etc.. She has now met all the top pro ladies, and conspires with them from time to time. And she wants to get more young ladies into the sport, which is great for everybody involved. Around here we notice that guys who are with disc golfing gals are much happier than those who are not. It makes a big difference, and we know that we have a life sport that we can play together, and it is also something that we can work on and help to build.

[Banjar]

I don't understand your question. If you want to go play and your wife doesn't...then take care of whatever your responsibilities are at home, and then go without her. Why does it matter whether she wants to play tournament golf, if you want to?

The way I see it, one of my responsabilities is to spend time with my wife (we have been together for 3 years and got married only 2 months ago..). If i spend my weekend leaving the house saturday morning, coming home in the evening and then leave again sunday morning and returning late afternoon, I would be afraid to develop animosity towards discgolf in her.

Jhern, sounds like you have it pretty sweet! Good for you

[ManU]

my wife loves disc (ha!)
unfortunately disc for her is ultimate not DG...she'll play for hours, travel for tournaments (she is in one in Washington State this weekend)
but not so much for DG

she gets bored

she doesn't mind the odd casual round but starts to peter out around the 12th hole

she'll do the odd one day tournament but is only really interested if it is a single round of 18 (we had one this weekend)

I like single day tournies but prefer 2 18's and I also like dual day tournies

I let her take DG at her pace, if she wants to go, great, if not I'll play more on my own

[MR. WICK]

I'm happy that my wife doesn't play.

That's my time.

[Beable]

The way I see it, one of my responsabilities is to spend time with my wife (we have been together for 3 years and got married only 2 months ago..). If i spend my weekend leaving the house saturday morning, coming home in the evening and then leave again sunday morning and returning late afternoon, I would be afraid to develop animosity towards discgolf in her.

Jhern, sounds like you have it pretty sweet! Good for you

Sure, so balance it. Maybe it's not appropriate for you to play more than one tournament a month. Or whatever. Discuss it with her and try things out and see how it goes. My wife and I have always had separate hobbies. We do things together, and sometimes she might come out to play with me, but disc golf is MY hobby. Poetry, writing, and so on are hers. Nothing she does is going to make me want to go to a poetry reading. Ditto with her coming to some PFDS tournament.

Make sure you get your fun in before you have kids. I get to play a lot, but I don't feel comfortable leaving for a weekend because it's not fair to saddle my wife with baby duties.

[sunspot]

Ya'lls wives do stuff outside the kitchen? The only "disc" my wife throws is a plate with food on it when see tells me "here's dinner, hun". Men are meant for disc golf, women for the kitchen.



Naws, for realz. My wife is too busy with other things to come out and play. Once my children get a little bit older I'll make disc golf a family affair.

[cajual]

My girl picks the burrs out of my socks for me, and the other day she took my bag to the dry cleaner and then hand-washed my discs.

Haha, nah, I am also effing around.. But I am not.

Seriously though, my girl and I each have our things; disc is mine. I take pride in us being independent from one another in ways. I will say that when she shows the desire to come out I am more than inviting, I want her to do the things she wants to do and that is about it as far as I am concerned.

[dehaas]

I've tried getting my wife to come out and at least walk with me on the course. At this point I could care less if she comes with me or not. Sundays are her days to go to the coffee shop and relax and get some homework done while I'm out golfing. We agree that we each deserve some time to do our things and unwind a bit. Part of me still wishes she'd get into it, just because that's one more person getting into the sport. On the flip side though, she's not very patient, and I think she would have a hard time getting past that initial point of sucking bad.

[ashley]

Ya'lls wives do stuff outside the kitchen? The only "disc" my wife throws is a plate with food on it when see tells me "here's dinner, hun". Men are meant for disc golf, women for the kitchen.



Naws, for realz. My wife is too busy with other things to come out and play. Once my children get a little bit older I'll make disc golf a family affair.

Ha, this exactly something my little brother would say. I don't have a wife, so I have nothing else to add to this.

[keltik]

my has played with me before. she doesn't really care about playing. she has also walked a course while I play and she just gets bored or will sit in a general rec area while I play several holes. she doesn't come with me anymore. I'm fine with that. Now I just tell her I'm going to play.

I will say this don't go play after arguing with your wife or a bad day of work. you hit more trees.