# of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

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# of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby discspeed » Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:28 pm

I thought this would be an interesting topic since most of us here are married or in a serious relationship.

And how many out of those were you truly in love?

For me I have had 4 serious, live-in relationships. I have only truly been in love twice. How do I know? Because of my dreams...I know I love my wife (obviously), but out of my 3 ex's, I only ever dream of my first one. It was some hardcore Romeo/Juliet type love and I truly believed she was going to be the one forever. We went to college together and took different paths, but it was still an emotional life-fucking event for me. I was trying my hardest not to change, 18 and had it all figured out, and her parents were recently divorced and she wanted to forget her past and throw herself into something new. It took me almost 10 years and 2 girls (who were definitely not good enough for me, probably a self esteem thing) to heal to the point where I could find an equal and truly trust enough to fall in real love again. My first girlfriend is still single and I don't think she's had a serious relationship since. Very strange indeed, and sometimes in my dreams my wife morphs into her and vice versa. That's how I know I've only loved 2 women, and I was probably meant to only love one (hence the weird dreams).

How about you guys?
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby jnecessary » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:42 pm

Married my high school sweetheart after dating for 8 years. We went to separate colleges, in a way just to make sure we were sure and to give each other the chance to change.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby Jeronimo » Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:08 pm

I've never bought into the theory of "the one". "Love" is something you work on forever, "lust" is something you feel and is fickle, "like" is something you develop and its dynamic/always changing.

Any two people can be compatible, if they want to be.

Case in Point: Tiger Woods married one of the most attractive women i've ever seen. Was it enough? obviously not.
I am dumb.

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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby eg37167 » Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:44 pm

And people should not be under the illusion that once you find someone, even the right someone, life is perfect and you don;t have to work to maintain your relationship.
Bunk. It is hard to stay in love with someone. But is it possible and very rewarding. I had some serious dating but only really fell for one woman. The one I am still with and hope will keep putting up with me, if I am lucky.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby disc junkie » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:01 pm

I had one serious relationship before my current fiance. I have had many flings, girlfriends, booty butties whatever you want to call them but pretty much they were all empty relationships and most were only about sex.

I was with the "other" girl for almost three years. We have been a part for five years however I still dream about her and think of her often. At the time we were both in our very early twenties but we were definitely mad about each other. However I have to say the end was mostly my fault as I was going through a lot of interesting life changes towards the end of our relationship that were very taxing on me mostly mentally but physically as well and I think I took a lot of my frustration out on her. Eventually we just grew apart mainly because our frustrations at the time. I know we still love each other but it would lnever be the same.

Then I met my current fiance and without a doubt the love of my life and the first woman that has ever made me want to marry her and be with her for the rest of my life. I met her four years ago we started dating a year later and have been engaged the past two years. We will be getting married April 25th 2010!

Without a doub being in a relationship take a LOT of hard work but I tell you there is nothing more satisfying and rewarding in life than to have some one that will support oyu no matter what. I definitely can not imagine my life without her and as cheesy as it sounds I truly feel she makes me a way better person.

Everyone I know was shocked when they found out I got engaged because if you knew me I was anti marriage my entire life. I think that stems from both my parent being married and divorced 5 times each (total of 10 marriages). But when I met my lover I knew that she was going to be my life partner.


Anyway that turned into a much longer post than expected and I could go on much longer but I need to leave work.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby tgm » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:14 pm

Still looking for "the one."

Thought I had one earlier but turned out I wasn't her "the one."
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby discspeed » Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:19 pm

Yeah, I think "love" is a combination of two things...Compatibility and timing. Two compatible people will not work if they are not at the same stage of life and with the same goals. Two people at the same stage in life and with the same goals will not work if they are not compatible. And of course there is the dimension of work, commitment, and personal responsibility, which can also make or break "love". My first girl and I were compatible, started out at the same stage of life with the same goals, but we were young and the second part changed. No dice...My wife and I met in our late twenties much more cemented in our personalities and life goals, so I think that has helped a lot. Beyond that we just know how to treat each other and for the most part we each put the other person first. Trusting someone enough to put them before yourself and know that they are not going to take advantage of that is a big deal.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby Solty » Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:17 pm

2.........including my wife of 5.5 yrs :)
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby black udder » Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:46 pm

I'll let you know...


p.s. don't tell my wife.


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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby marmoset » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:19 pm

black udder wrote:I'll let you know...


p.s. don't tell my wife.


ack ack

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Too many previous girls for me. Dunno... 7? 10? At various times I thought each of them was the one but after meeting my wife I KNEW she was the one. Then I wished I hadn't even wasted time with all the others.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby masterbeato » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:59 am

i never had that "one" feeling. dated 5 chicks in my life (serious/non serious) and that is enough for me. i do not even talk to any of my exes because they do not want to talk to me so getting laid never happens for me.

not once but twice it burns me.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby worthdan » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:59 pm

I married my high school sweetheart. we dated for 2+ years, were engaged for 2+ more years, and have been married for 3.5 years. It can be hard as hell at times (the first year of marriage comes to mind) but you have to work for most good things in life and it's definitely worth it.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby Bugbee » Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:37 pm

I met my current girl my freshmen year of college. The first girl I ever dated. Flash forward 5 and a half years later we are still together. Love her to death. I am so lucky that I nabbed the perfect one on the first try. It was like walking up to one of those toy grabber machines and just closing my eyes and dropping down the claw and pulling up the keys to a corvette or something.
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby Chuck Kennedy » Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:26 pm

Married for 3 years long ago just out of college but she wasn't the one. Had maybe 6 serious relationships since then where one of them might have been the "one" under different circumstances, with more than my age of other relationships that never got that serious. Still looking and hopeful to develop "a" long lasting relationship even if I never find "the" one. Working in the disc golf field, there's not much risk of gold diggers wanting me only for my money. :D
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Re: # of serious relationships b4 you found "the one"?

Postby masterbeato » Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:22 pm

gold diggers...i hear that.
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