One day a man died and found himself in Hell.
As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.
The demon asked, "Why so glum?" The man responded, "Why do you think? I'm in Hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said. "I love to drink."
"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, Tequila, Guinness, Wine, Vodka. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The man was astounded. "Well, that sounds great!"
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke them all day."
"Wow," the man said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"
The man said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs!"
"Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow," the man said, starting to feel better about his situation. "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
The demon said, "You gay?"
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."