Free CD for the Best Joke or Piece of Useless Trivia

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Free CD for the Best Joke or Piece of Useless Trivia

Postby Glock23 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:31 am

Ok, here is the deal. I picked up a cd the other day just for kicks. It is Phish - A Picture of Nectar. And I have to be honest, I think it sucks. I figured there are some stinky, dirty hippies on DGR who would love to add this to their collection of crappy music. :lol: I will mail this to the person who comes up with the best joke or worthless piece of trivia over the next week.

Rules:
Trivia - No Wikipedia - It needs to be something you already know. Something random, bizarre, or retarded. Anything is fair game.

The jokes can be whatever you want, just watch the slurs and profanity.

At the end of the week I will decide what I think the best entry was, and mail you this like new CD.

Enter as often as you want. I don't care. Basically I am bored at work, and could use a laugh.

This 1992 effort, Phish's third overall and first for Elektra, represents the peak of their early-period studio records. The full scope of the quartet's artistic vision comes through clearly across a selection of their most enduring songs. They reveal a voracious and sweeping appetite for a large assortment of styles: psychedelic roots rock; heavy, fusion-leaning progressive rock; bluegrass; straight jazz; and even salsa all creep in. The constant and frantic battle between wild imagination, oddball humor, and keen musical chops is mighty compelling, and even their most grandiose, over-the-top, jet-fueled jams are delivered with a disarming wink. --Marc Greilsamer

Image
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Re: Free CD for the Best Joke or Piece of Useless Trivia

Postby swel304 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:51 am

Glock23 wrote:Ok, here is the deal. I picked up a cd the other day just for kicks. It is Phish - A Picture of Nectar. And I have to be honest, I think it sucks. I figured there are some stinky, dirty hippies on DGR who would love to add this to their collection of crappy music. :lol


:lol: :lol: :lol:
I dont want the cd but how bout this one?
How do you hide money from a hippy?
Put it under the soap!

I like your cartman quote sig. I think the best one though is "I hate hippies, they talk about save the earth but all they do is smoke pot and drive around it cars that get poor gas milage, D@#$!@#$!"
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Postby garublador » Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:51 am

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the Phish fan?

He was too far out, man!

How do you know a Phish Fan has been staying at your house?

He's still there.

What did the Phish fan say after the drugs wore off?

'Man, this music sucks!'

No need to enter me in the drawing, I already own the CD.
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Postby swel304 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:21 pm

garublador wrote:No need to enter me in the drawing, I already own the CD.

And we have a winner! Oh wait, thats not supposed to be part of the joke is it? :oops: :lol:
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Postby garublador » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:31 pm

swel304 wrote:
garublador wrote:No need to enter me in the drawing, I already own the CD.

And we have a winner! Oh wait, thats not supposed to be part of the joke is it? :oops: :lol:


Actually it sort of is part of the joke. I'm guessing that my 2 minutes of Googling hippie jokes won't be the best thing he sees. I do own the CD, (and enjoy it) though.
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Postby swel304 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:38 pm

here are some images from the best 4 page hippy joke of all time. Not exactly mainstream, its a comic called milk and cheese. Its about a milk and a cheese (of course) who are generaly violent and hate everything. If I can locate a link of the whole thing I will post it. Hell I may even track down my copy and scan it. If youve never seen any milk and cheese do yourself a favor and track some down, it is some funny stuff.

Image

peace man!

Image
http://www.houseoffun.com/milkandcheese/index.html
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Postby TexasOutlaw » Mon Apr 02, 2007 1:48 pm

How many times can I enter?


2 fellas were walking down the street and see a sign that says, "pants 3.99 and shirts 2.99." So, one looks at the other and says, "hey! Lets buy a bunch of these; we can sell them for at least 3 times as much back home!"

So they walk in and ask for 20 pants and 30 shirts. The owner of the place says, "you guys from Oklahoma?" They look at each other and ask how he could possibly know that. He replies: "because this is a dry cleaner."
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Postby jmammo » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:15 pm

Here are two weird facts I think can think of right now:
The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur!

Cat urine glows under a black-light!

I will have more later when I get bored.
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Postby Glock23 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:16 pm

How many times can I enter?


As many times as you want to.

Jmammo: Great facts, just what I had in mind!
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Postby jmammo » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:51 pm

Glock23 wrote:
How many times can I enter?


As many times as you want to.

Jmammo: Great facts, just what I had in mind!

I read this book one time called Do fish drink water and it had some weird shit that that in it
Buy the ticket, take the ride

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Postby garublador » Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:51 pm

Glock23 wrote:
How many times can I enter?


As many times as you want to.


That's what she said.
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Postby jmammo » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:04 pm

Carpenters pencils are square so they don't roll off of roofs
My grandma told me this one:
The shortest verse in the bible is John 11:35
Buy the ticket, take the ride

Too weird to live, to rare to die

You are my one and only Chicagooo
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For you we all shout into the night
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Postby jamsisjams » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:50 pm

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge; only to find a cop with a radar gun on the
other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop,
"what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work
from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."


Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS
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Postby jmammo » Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:06 pm

^ That is so damn funny
Buy the ticket, take the ride

Too weird to live, to rare to die

You are my one and only Chicagooo
To dream in RED, to dream in WHITE
For you we all shout into the night
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Postby swel304 » Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:04 pm

speaking of cops and odd facts...
I heard the other day (but cant verify its truth) that there is a class action by a bunch of cops against the manufacturers of radar guns. aparently they need a written warning telling them not to set the radar gun in thier lap while its turned on. As it turns out, x-raying your balls 8 hours a day 5 days a week can give you testicular cancer. whoda thunk it? :roll: :lol:
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