Best defunct snack foods of all time

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Best defunct snack foods of all time

Postby Blake_T » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:48 am

so like, after making several stops while shopping w/ my gf, we got on the discussion about a striking trend. every product/food i ever really like will go defunct once i get dependent/accustomed to it.

we were at target and i needed some simple stuff... shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant.

simple, eh? not really. they had the brand of deodorant i used, but only two types. solid unscented and gel unscented. wtf... they had a really good scented selection of hydro-solids that seemingly no longer exist. stops at wal-mart, wallgreens, 2 major grocery store chains, and a small pharmacy yielded nothing except for unscented versions of that brand. (on a side note, i found some of the scented hydro solid today at a CVS and i bought all 5 sticks they had in stock)

next item, toothpaste. target didn't have my fav toothpaste. nor did they have my 2nd fav. nor my 3rd fav... nor my 4th fav... nor the one that every place usually has and is good enough. i found 1874 kinds of whitening toothpaste, and 2 kinds of tartar control toothpaste (both of which taste crappy). last i checked, in adults, tartar = the #1 cause of cavities... so like... it's more important to have white rotting teeth, than 3 shades less white but cavity free teeth? wtf.

third item, shampoo. target had my brand of shampoo on sale... and about 3829048320432 different kinds. best part about it, the one i use is now discontinued and has been phased out and not replaced. i did find it amusing that that brand now has hispanic shampoo (it actually says that on the front) but i can't get some f'n extra moisturizing shampoo? wtf.

getting to the point of this story. i was kinda pissy and hungry by the time we left target, so i was like "wow, i could really go for some stuffed nachos right now." we stopped by 2 grocery stores only to find those had been discontinued... not only that, but they are eliminating flavors of pizza rolls now too... it's like, i go out of my way to stop eating processed to hell junk food, only to find that when i really want it, the kind i really want no longer exists... wtf?

my gf was actually shocked that i didn't believe there was some big conspiracy against me but she also asked me to make a list of stuff i used that was discontinued.

the most fun is going over every snack food you ever dug that they took away from you (try having this conversation w/ anyone aged 25+ and you'll get a good response).

my top 10:
1) jello pudding pops. best popcicle-styled snack of all time hands down. eskimo pie and kemps have created wanna-be pudding pops, but they lack the thin ice shell that you had to melt through to get to the pudding and if you bit down on it before you melted it all the way it crunched a little. yah, you all know wtf i mean. i haven't had a pudding pop since 1991 and that pisses me off. i swear the coz is to blame. kawzby family misteries II: wtf are my pudding pops.

2) keebler krunch twists. these were like some nasty-azz fried corn things... but goddam they were good. these snacks rate off the bugle scale (the bugle scale = a snack that is so addictive that if you eat like 2, you will sit there and eat the entire bag, even if you aren't even hungry) and i haven't had one since 1988. wtf.

3) tidal wave gum. this gum was actually pretty f'n nasty, but if you saw the commercial and were under the age of 13, you absolutely, positively had to have some of this gum. the flavor was gone in like 8 seconds, the slime on the inside was total crap, but seriously, i kinda want some right now.

4) totino's stuffed nachos. sometimes you are hungry enough that you are willing to eat orphanage-grade processed meat and "cheese" that probably came out of a large can because it could be made in under 8 minutes in the toaster oven. for a long time, pizza rolls were the only void-fillers here, but the tortilla-based triangular companion snack that showed up in the late 90's was like... better. pizza rolls could be lunch. stuffed nachos could be like... 2am... damn i'm hungry... pizza delivery place is closed... nachos sound kinda good but 7-11 is like 4 blocks away... stuffed nachos it is.

5) BBQ or ranch flavored pringles right crisps. the "low fat" pre-olestra version of light pringles that only had a minute 6 grams of fat in like 8 chips but tasted better because they were much less greasy in their cell mutating processed goodness. right crisps are the only pringles i can stand to eat... but i can't stand them in sour cream & onion or plain. guess which two flavors are still in production. bastids.

6) wahooz. i never would have purchased these had they not been on sale at safeway for 2 3 lb bags for $5. i've never had a snack that tasted more disgusting but had enough addictive chemicals in them to make your hands shake. these re-defined the bugles scale. i remember bringing a bag of em to my friend's dorm social room and passing the bag around... my friend grabs a handful and tosses it in his mouth "ugh, these are disgusting..." about 10 seconds later he took another handful.

7) sport shake (original formula). these may still exist in some form, but seriously, like... if i were to be at a time out in a bball game and slammed one of these i think i would throw up. however, when you are 10 min late for work and haven't had breakfast and want something that will give you only mild gut rot but still some impression of being full, a sport shake is/was the way to go.

8) honeycomb mini license plates. so yah, these aren't really a snack food, and the cereal gods already appeased me by bringing back strawberry honeycomb and frankenberry, which were two cereals that i don't eat, nor did i eat them when they had them in the early 80's, but i always seemed to want to eat them when they were no longer available... the honeycomb mini license plates were like the coolest thing i ever got out of a cereal box when i was 5.

9) nabisco veggie thins crackers. when i was growing up i never really liked veggies (mainly i coudln't eat how many of them are prepared)... but i always dug this cracker. the other day i was jonesin for some and discovered they no longer exist, and i was like, wtf.

10) turkey on a stick (from the grocery store deli). a fried slab of processed, pressed turkey chunks breaded, deep fried, and put on a stick. i miss these for sentimental reasons... ridin around underneath the grocery cart in the era of returnable glass bottles. these were only kinda good (nowadays they'd probably seem super nasty), they weren't filling, they were horrible for you, but when you haven't had one since 1989 and the thought of them makes you smile you kinda do want them, no matter how unfulfilling they may be.

honorable mention: keebler o'boises chips, nabisco twigs, all sport (carbonated sports drink + allergies = something to cut the mucus when you start sneezing your azz off during a tournament and still do something that resembles hydration)

items they discontinued but brought back: magic shell, strawberry honeycomb, smart food white cheddar popcorn, tato skins (but you have to be at a gas station in BFE to actually find em), reese's pieces (they got discontinued briefly in the post-E.T. era but returned)

items you say you wish they brought back for nostalgic value or because it would be funny but honestly you are glad they are gone (because they were nasty): mr. t cereal, crystal pepsi/tab clear, ice cream cones cereal, fun fruits, purplesaurus rex kool-aid
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Postby Amateur » Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:19 am

My dad worked at Dolly Madison when I was 10 and he always brought home this crap called "Cheezy Waffles". It was rice cakes shaped like small waffles sandwiched with some spicy processed cheddar. Those were like crack to me.

I was also fond of the Ghostbusters pies. I think they were called ekto plasma pies or something like that. The filling was neon green and only delicious to 10 year old fat kids.

Bottle Caps, what ever happened to those?

I overdosed on chili cheese Wahoos when my local grocery store cleared them out for $.50 a bag.

Everything was cooler back in the days of $.50, glass bottle, 16oz sodas.
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Re: Best defunct snack foods of all time

Postby Mommawannathrow » Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:55 am

[quote="Blake_T"]... so like... it's more important to have white rotting teeth, than 3 shades less white but cavity free teeth? wtf.
yes, because it's how you look, not the fact you have bacteria infested cess pool in yer pie hole!

.. it's like, i go out of my way to stop eating processed to hell junk food, only to find that when i really want it, the kind i really want no longer exists... wtf?
DAYUM them stuffed nachos was good that one time I had them.
An the fargen Totino's biznach never sent me any coupons!
!

. i swear the coz is to blame. kawzby family misteries II: wtf are my pudding pops.

LOL!!! I saw in the little tv screen at the Well's fargo drive through he was challenging 10,000 African Americans to be more responsible or something else non-pudding pop related.


3) tidal wave gum. this gum was actually pretty f'n nasty, but if you saw the commercial and were under the age of 13, you absolutely, positively had to have some of this gum. the flavor was gone in like 8 seconds, the slime on the inside was total crap, but seriously, i kinda want some right now.

Was this also Squirt gum? Or are you too young to remember that? It had a cool slimy center as well and I believe was a wonderful green and slime combo


4) totino's stuffed nachos. sometimes you are hungry enough that you are willing to eat orphanage-grade processed meat

I hurt myself laughing at that!

but tasted better because they were much less greasy in their cell mutating processed goodness.

this was another but-guster, I mean gut buster

i miss these for sentimental reasons... ridin around underneath the grocery cart in the era of returnable glass bottles.

AWWWWWWWWWW! I can totally picure that! That's it, I am taking you to Byerly's to ride in the race car shopping cart.

(carbonated sports drink + allergies = something to cut the mucus when you start sneezing your azz off during a tournament and still do something that resembles hydration)

You are too f-ing funny

I miss new coke and I haven't seen this gastric anomaly in a while-Fluffernutter. Do they still make that? Oh! And that grated american cheese my Dad used to put on his spaghetti, I think Borden used to make it. OH!! And Agree shampoo smelled so fargen good, I used to love that stuff, and I haven't seen that in years. And pearl drops tooth polish, I don't think they make that one anymore either. I used to love the the commercial, hot chick running her tongue over her newly polished pearly teef. Rrrowwwr.


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Postby Mommawannathrow » Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:58 am

[quote="Amateur"]

Bottle Caps, what ever happened to those?

I think my kid got those last Halloween, I am almost sure of it. It's a Mom's job to be in charge of quality control of all candy entering the domicile, much to the irritation of my sugar- addicted offspring.

:lol:
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Postby Thatdirtykid » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:17 am

blake, they stopped making them because you stopped eating them.
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Postby OldTyme » Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:18 am

Sort of on topic:

Taco flavored Doritos.......taste nothing like they used to.

They used to be really good. Now they're just "OK"

Can't think of much else I like they don't make anymore : )

*also they still make Bottle Caps. Mmm. They are good. The root beer & cola flavors. Gah!!!
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Postby Glock23 » Sat Jan 27, 2007 8:44 am

crystal pepsi

I loved that stuff. I remember when that lady "found" a needle in her's and killed the sale of cystal pepsi. She made it all up, but they quit selling that stuff right away. I think I was one of the 3 people who actually liked the taste though.

Some things I miss:

Tear Jerkers Gum - That stuff was so sour and , and they made about 50 versions of it. Just thinking about it makes my mouth pucker, but I would love some right now!

Gatorade Gum - Stuff was pretty tasty, and they made you believe it was rehydrating you while you chewed.

Josta - The first energy drink in my mind. It was weird, and tasted like poo, but it had Guarana so it had to be good.

Jolt/Kick/Surge - A few more of the high caffeine drinks that slowly got phazed out. Loved them all.

Lifesaver Holes - Tiny little orbs of goodness, and they came in the coolest containers.

Lime Tic-Tacs - I love lime stuff and these were awesome.

Nescafe Ice Java - This was just discontinued a little while ago, but it was great. Mix a little syrup in with milk, and you had a quick coffee drink.

Fire and Ice Jawbreakers - Started like a fireball, then cool mint, then fire...you get the idea.

Swenson's Key Lime Milkshakes - This is a local thing, but these were the best shakes ever. I miss them.

All Sport - Right with you Blake. I loved the stuff. Especially the blue, whatever flavor that was.

Poweraid Dark Ice & Matrix - Great flavors I can't seem to find anymore.

Great thread, interested to see others lost favorites.
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Postby roadkill » Sat Jan 27, 2007 10:47 am

Glock23 wrote:
Gatorade Gum - Stuff was pretty tasty, and they made you believe it was rehydrating you while you chewed.



It's called Quench gum and it is still available. I've seen it in the past two weeks.


Jolt/Kick/Surge - A few more of the high caffeine drinks that slowly got phazed out. Loved them all.


What planet do you live on? Jolt seems bigger than ever right now. Jolt cola, Jolt energy drink in four different flavors and yesterday I saw Jolt gum in a display next to the register. I also just noticed they now sell chocolate bars that are infused with extra caffiene.
Caffiene seems to be the rage today. They keep coming out with new studies that seem to vindicate our nation's addiction to it. Last year all the exercise mags were saying that caffiene prolongs endurance and stamina. Yesterday on Yahoo one of the featured stories said caffiene makes you smarter. Today on yahoo they reported that someone in the process of making doughnuts with caffiene.

Nescafe Ice Java - This was just discontinued a little while ago, but it was great. Mix a little syrup in with milk, and you had a quick coffee drink.


Say it ain't so. I love this stuff. You may be wrong about this as I saw it on the grocery shelves just three weeks ago. I still have two bottles in my fridge. My fridge has about 8 different bottles of syrups including hershey's special dark, hershey's whoppers malt, hersheys caramel, hershey's strawberry, dulce de leche, nescafe french vanilla, ice java and a couple others I can't think of at the moment. I love concocting shakes and smoothies and syrups make great incredients and have a very long shelf life.

Swenson's Key Lime Milkshakes - This is a local thing, but these were the best shakes ever. I miss them.


Sounds great. I think the Nifty Fifties chain of restaurants offers key lime shakes. They have about 100 different shake varieties and are the king of shakes in the Philly region. Of the key lime products avaliable in stores my favorite is Stewart's key lime soda. I'm not sure how big there brand is. Are Stewart's sodas in Ohio?

I'll tell you what was big in the 70s that I rarely see any more is the Sugar Daddy caramel pop. These were followed by the Sugar Babies which were like caramel M&Ms. Like quench gum, they're probably still around somewhere just not common in the mainstream chains the way they used to be.
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Postby Glock23 » Sat Jan 27, 2007 10:50 am

What planet do you live on? Jolt seems bigger than ever right now. Jolt cola, Jolt energy drink in four different flavors and yesterday I saw Jolt gum in a display next to the register. I also just noticed they now sell chocolate bars that are infused with extra caffiene.
Caffiene seems to be the rage today. They keep coming out with new studies that seem to vindicate our nation's addiction to it. Last year all the exercise mags were saying that caffiene prolongs endurance and stamina. Yesterday on Yahoo one of the featured stories said caffiene makes you smarter. Today on yahoo they reported that someone in the process of making doughnuts with caffiene.


I haven't seen jolt in forever. That vault is an awful lot like it though.

If you check online, the nescafe stuff is discontinued. I'm hoping I can still find a bottle or two.
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Postby roadkill » Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:05 am

Hmmmmm? I wonder how much I can get for an unopened bottle on eBay?
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Postby Blake_T » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:02 pm

Hmmmmm? I wonder how much I can get for an unopened bottle on eBay?


if you tape it to a cinder block you can charge $75 shipping
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Postby TheUberDork » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:09 pm

I just bought a box of Jello brand pudding pops last week. Came with vanilla chocolate and swirl all in the same box.
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Postby Discoman » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:29 pm

got two and I'm still F'ing pissed about them! Ok three now.

PB MAX candy bars, greatest commercials....PB doesn't stand for Putrescence in a burlap sack it stands for Peanut Butter! High quality peanut butter on a cookie covered in chocolate!

The Big Sweet Tarts that were chalky and chewy, when they only had three in a pack not four the four pack formulas suck!

Lemonheads....They are not the same now! The shell used to seperate and come off the sweet core like wax cheese casing on Laughing cow cheese thingies if you bit them just right.....the original sour canies for me.
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Postby uNicedmeMan » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:24 pm

texas grill fritos were pretty damn good
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Re: Best defunct snack foods of all time

Postby redspexxx » Mon Jan 29, 2007 9:17 am

Blake_T wrote:items you say you wish they brought back for nostalgic value or because it would be funny but honestly you are glad they are gone (because they were nasty): .... purplesaurus rex kool-aid

hey, if you didnt like purplesaurus rex kool aid, we got problems. because me, and PSR are tight like woah... actually if you mix the 1.5 packets of grape with . 5 packets lemon it tastes kinda the same... but never close... i want to know what happened to sharkle berry fin?
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