Ask Hawk

[Flipflat]

Google "Santorum" and see what comes up.

[veganray]

I know Astroglide is for noobs, but do you recommend Vaseline, KY, or spit?

[sunspot]

Why are you named after a bird?

[Triflusal]

have you heard?

[jsun3thousand]

Why are you named after a bird?

maybe the bird was named after him.




you're slippin' triflusal.

[Frank Delicious]

This thread sucks. Come back OP.

[Triflusal]

Why are you named after a bird?

maybe the bird was named after him.




you're slippin' triflusal.

dont associate me with that awful show

[jsun3thousand]

i went to high school with this girl. it's a pretty cool story.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... bbery.html

this dude was my counselor. pretty sweet learning about that.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2006 ... -counselor

this girl from my high school got famous by sucking at committing suicide.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iRDt96Lu3Y
http://www.reachingyouministries.com/

i worked in the same stats lab for three semesters with a school shooter. this was not cool at all. i would not wish going through a school shooting on my worst enemy. especially when you knew the dude that killed the friends of your students.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jonathan- ... 87031.html
http://www.esquire.com/features/steven-kazmierczak-0808

[Dig It]

This thread sucks. Come back OP.

Maybe we came on too strong?

[HawkGammon]

What exactly is a "background" in the adult entertainment industry? I mean this is a pretty wide genre. Could we actually assume that someone working on the assembly line for Fleshlight has a "background" in the adult industry?

Ray,

A boys got to do what a boys got to do to make tuition during those financially lean college years. Does the name Peter North mean anything to you? Dancing at the Hanger Club is only going to get a guy so far with the bursars office. I am impressed, and slightly disturbed, with your familiarity with artificial vaginas.

YDGH

[HawkGammon]

How to achieve lasting world peace in a day without harmful side effects like killing everyone or everyone minus one, separating everyone from others, drugging everyone, giving lobotomy to everyone etc.?

JR,

Is this one of the questions you've been crafting as part of your training program to one day become a judge at the Miss America pageant? If it is I want to redirect you towards the Miss USA pageant. No talent competition, that can be televised on a broadcase network that is, and the women are way hotter. If you are positing this query as part of your contestant practice I offer this as the best route to go in answering any question:



If you really are concerned about world peace I applaud you as a much better person than the rest of us. The answer is actually rather simple. Massages for everyone! Happy endings optional but strongly encouraged.

YDGH

[HawkGammon]

If that was too easy how about achieving levitation on earth without electricity without any money you have one minute to make it happen. Go.

JR,

I see you have either any extemely inquisitive mind or way too much time on your hands. Vines...tree limbs...and a buxom assistant.



If my time in Vegas taught me anything it's once you've got that working for you the rubes in the audience won't care how much of a hack you are.

YDGH

[HawkGammon]

What in the fuck is going on in here?

Jesse,

Thanks for picking up a copy of my book. I'd be happy to autograph that for you at only a nominal fee. You eat the S&H of course.

YDGH

[HawkGammon]

Hey hawk why is Jennifer Aniston so crazy and ugly? Is she a lich? Thanks, I'll take my answer off the air.

Frank,

Just like how age isn't kind to a car it can be even crueler to an actress.*

*Term used loosely in this context.

YDGH

[HawkGammon]

Heya Hawk-

My boss recently has been complaining about my track marks. He says they're bad for business, but he's a fucking pussy that watches SciFi Channel and shit anyways.

My question is, what's the best way to shoot between the toes? It's so freakin' awkward, and I'm not the most flexible guy to begin with.

Thanks in advance,

JS

Junk,

Yoga will be your friend.

YDGH